What’s The Story? The men from The Man From U.N.C.L.E are back in a two-part episode that was put together as a feature film for some reason. A scientist has discovered a formula to extract small amounts of gold from sea water (…okay…) and the evil men from THRUSH are after it and only the guys from U.N.C.L.E. can stop them. There’s late 60s groovy dancing, locations from all over the backlots of Hollywood that substitute for Europe and Asia, Telly Savalas with an embarrassingly bad Italian accent. It’s… ouch. Not campy enough to be fun, not competent enough to be entertaining. Since it was made for late 60’s TV, the cinematography is flat, the production values are super low and everything about it feels cheap. I thought the combo of late-60s pop and counterculture and Joan’s elegance would offer a fun frisson; instead, it’s just embarrassing. I didn’t even finish it. Ugh.

Oh, And How’s Joan? Joan’s billing is “Special Appearance by”, which translates to “Pay me a decent chunk of money and I’ll do one scene for you.” She plays the scientist’s widow who has one scene where she discovers her new lover is a leader in the evil spy organization. She’s… fine. Doing the best with very very little. I mean, this expression says it all, doesn’t it?

“…just get through this scene, Lucille, and you can pay off the twins’ boarding school. You can do it…”

Should I See It? Ask yourself: do you need to absolve yourself of sins? Did you lose a bet? Is masochism an upper level personality trait? Then sure. If not, skip this mess. Joan is way better in other things. Like, here’s her Pan Am commercial for 1973. Same era, same classiness and it’s under a minute:

How Can I See It? It’s on iTunes, if you must. I’m not going to link here. Give it a search and you can find it.